Repositioning your lifestyle in marriage is to shift away from your old way of doing things to a more commendable style, to enhance your relationship. It is necessary when your partner is, bluntly, reacting to a particular character of yours. Your attention in that direction makes a good understanding of a relationship. Consequently, the next thing to consider is the need to reposition your ways of living. What is paramount in a marriage is for the two parties to complement each other in understanding their lifestyles. Practically, an individual way of living has an impact on the healthy existence of a relationship. Lifestyle repositioning in marriage is essential when your way of living causes discomfort in your relationship.
For a couple to be in a relationship, it means that they are satisfied with each other’s manner of living. This is possible only when you can study your spouse’s character. You need a great deal of effort to have a good understanding of your spouse as an individual. Everything boils down to yearning for a friendly atmosphere for you and your partner to coexist with minimum differences. There is no formula for a marriage. Understanding and maturity is fundamental to a successful marriage. As time goes on, things begin to take shape.
In some cases, dissatisfaction in marriage arises due to individual habits. Character changes in marital life are common experience. Imagine a situation where a man is dissatisfied with his wife coming late from work. Though this may be the nature of her work, the man is no longer pleased with the situation. At any rate, how to determine when your harbit is affecting your marriage is relevant to repositioning your lifestyle.
Things to observe if your lifestyle is affecting your spouse
Surprisingly, many people don’t know if their habits disturb their partners. It sounds insensitive, right? But it happens. Perhaps, that is the more reason why communication is essential in marriage. At times, you wouldn’t perceive that your action or manner of living disturbs your partner. It’s, not deliberate. In fact, you won’t know until the affected person reacts. As a result, the following are the indicators that your manner of living is affecting your spouse.
Incessant complaint from your spouse.
Incessant complaint is a continuous protest about dissatisfaction experienced by one’s spouse. It simply reflects that someone is displeased with a particular situation. Therefore, as long as the unpleasant experience persists the complaint continues. It is very natural for the affected person to complain. So, your spouse has the right to raise eyebrows against any act that brings discomfort. In any situation, a complaint is one signal that proves that something is going wrong. A complaint is different from ordinary agitation. Therefore, in any event where your spouse objects, it is your responsibility to take steps in efforts to improve the situation. Effort to minimizee incessant complaints from a spouse is a good step in the right direction. But, if your manner of living irritates, then, go by a lifestyle repositioning in marriage.
Marital hatred
Hatred in marriage is sometimes traceable to an offensive lifestyle. The type that often results in reactions from one’s spouse. Usually, hatred in this category can be handled without stress. Unfortunately, it turns sour when there are no positive changes. Your partner, in most cases, must have tried her best to make you see reasons for changes. Howeve, one of the four major causes of devastating hatred in marriage is a sudden change in the lifestyle of any of the parties. It, usually, has a consequential effect on the relationship. Therefore, once you notice that your spouse’s character suddenly changes, be inquisitive. It’s a sign of dissatisfaction. However, there are occasions where such changes may suggest another meaning. For instance, if your wife decides not to welcome you for coming late against the usual way, that’s a sign. She is, in a way, telling you that she is no longer satisfied with your late coming.
Your spouse refuses to talk to you
This is a situation that, usually, occurs when two friends decide not to talk to each other because of a misunderstanding. In other words, when a party refuses to communicate with the other in reaction to an offence or wrong. This is a gentle way of reacting to issues that are displeasing. The samething happens between lovers. Therefore when your spouse feels wronged, she may decide to react in any form. After all, she has the right to protest against any act that inflicts dissatisfaction on her. What is important is the ability to pass the information across to her partner. It is ten times better than those who refuse to open up. They choose to be silent over issues that affect their satisfaction. All the same, once the complaint is made, appropriate action is to be taken to address the situation. Never ignore your spouse’s complaints about her health and comfort.
Sex denial
Typically, either party demands sex when there is happiness. A good romantic experience will come into play each time a married relationship is pleasant. On the contrary, at the slightest misunderstanding, the experience can be sour. And everything becomes horrible. The husband and wife would no longer be at par in such a situation. It is a reflection of dissatisfaction, possibly, resulting from an unfriendly act towards one of the parties. Because it’s a question of choice she might decide to deny her spouse sex. All in a bid to express discontent. When it becomes frequent, it is a clear sign of a problem. There are various reasons for sex denial, notwithstanding, handling sex denial in marriage is a way to go.
When you observe that your spouse is avoiding you
In extreme cases, your spouse may avoid you in all ways. You will begin to notice that you don’t do things in common any more. This time, she prefers to be alone. She wouldn’t like to join you in discussing issues. Of course, it shows that she’s nursing grievance in her mind. And this is the way she chooses to express it. In fact, this is another mature way of expressing dissatisfaction in a marital setting. You don’t need to be violent about it. What is important is for you to make sure that the message is passed across to your spouse. Genuinely, certain issues are domestic and don’t need the involvement of a third party. Why invite a third party? On a good day, you both can resolve marital issues without a third party. Hence, when you observe a signal like this then be cautioned.
In all the instances mentioned above, you would notice reactions to occurrences. All are centred on the fact that the affected party is protesting against certain unsuitable ways of living. Never mind the manner of approach, each situation requires efficient attention. You must be willing to look in the direction of your spouse’s complaint and adjust as appropriate.
Four steps are required to reposition your lifestyle
Now that you have understood various ways through which your partner can reveal his displeasure, four steps are critical to repositioning your lifestyle in marriage. You need to take four steps to achieve the intended purpose. Each of these steps is critical and distinct from one another:
Initiate spousal communication
The first action is to find out why your spouse is avoiding you or developing a sudden hatred towards you. You would notice that your spouse’s intention is made known through implication. But as for you, a discussion is required to gather salient information as to why your spouse is reacting. There are no two ways about this, except you ask questions. At this stage, you need to initiate a spousal discussion with all sincerity of purpose. Practically, a sincere and direct explanation is necessary to juice out facts. Reasons for her actions. Therefore, to yield maximum results, the appropriate place and time to seek your partner’s attention is relevant. Through this, a convenient atmosphere is created to secure her attention without distraction.
Retrace your ways of living
Having obtained the necessary information regarding what necessitated her action, the next step is to look inward. Now, you might need to check your lifestyle to see where your fault lies. In doing this, five separate questions must be answered. This will enable you to make the necessary corrections. However, if you are at fault, you need to tender an apology. Because you have subjected your spouse to sadness due to changes in your lifestyle. Now, let’s examine the question in turn.
- What was your lifestyle before now? This refers to your former Lifestyle, reaction to issues and how you perceive your relationship.
- What does your lifestyle look like at present? It includes your new style of doing things and their impact on your marriage. ( positive or negative )
- Why did you change your style? At least, there are reasons for your action. These are the key causes of your character changes.
- At what point did your Lifestyle change? Perhaps some of the new characters were not present in the early part of your marriage. The question is, when did you assume the new style of doing things? Do you have any reason for doing so?
- Are you willing and ready to make good changes? The willingness to make good changes is important. It should be seen from the point of regret. For instance, a lawyer per excellent, suddenly became a gambler. At a time he was a debtor to a fellow gambler. He wouldn’t listen to his wife’s advice. He later realized.
Apology
The apology will depend on the quantum of damage caused. Normally, an apology is an expression of repentance from a remorsed party. So, to tender an apology to one’s spouse reflects regret. And in marriage, I am sorry is a common language. But then, its efficacy can be wonderful in resolving marital rifts. In reality, there is no normal relationship without challenges. It can be different, depending on the nature and character of the parties involved. At the same time, a genuine apology is naturally generated from the heart. You don’t have to be convinced before showing remorse for some misdeed. Above all, to apologize is necessary, but your readiness to launch a Lifestyle repositioning in marriage is relevant.
Repositioning your Lifestyle
Once you can ascertain the variables or reasons for your spouse’s reaction, the next step is to change your ways of doing things. Adopting a more pleasant lifestyle is referred to as repositioning your lifestyle in this context. It means that you are changing your style to suit and comfort your relationship. Old things have passed away. Your actions henceforth will strengthen your spousal relationship and add value to your marriage. The moment apology is tendered, forgiveness – a marital reconciliation tool. is sure.