Handling sex denial in marriage

Sex denial, in marriage, reflects an unwholesome attitude which does not enhance moral well-being required to strengthen relationship. It unleashes untold discomfort on the part of the affected partner. Regretably, it’s an unhealthy practice that obstructs happiness and causes hatred until the issue is resolved. The victim suffers mental torture and becomes disoriented for a while. However, within the period of denial, many things will go wrong and the marriage organs cease to function optimally. Sex denial is a resultant effect of dissatisfaction or a reflection of an ill feeling towards one’s spouse. Handling sex denial in marriage requires patience, and a great deal of understanding and maturity geared towards resolving the issue.

In a normal marital setting, sex is the ultimate and primary responsibility of both parties. An affectionate activity that requires the absolute involvement of the two. It, basically, reflects the existence of love between husband and wife. Therefore, denying one’s spouse a passage to play a legitimate role is cruel. And it has a direct consequence on the existing spousal relationship.

Usually. either of the parties can inflict this hardship on his/her partner. It takes two to tangle. What is important is to take appropriate steps and make a good stitch. Resolving issues of sex denial is not meant for a third party.

Causes of sex denial in marriage

Before fixing the problem, a critical question becomes imminent. The denial could not have come to action suddenly. And this brings us to the fact that something is responsible. The relationship before now was good. And if for any reason your lover, abruptly, withholds your right to sex, then it calls for a big question. Why the denial? The solution to a problem of this nature resides within. It is critical and of course an internal affair. The reason for the denial is known to one, if not both. As such, it is important to understand the causes before fixing issues. Therefore, sex denial is possible under the following conditions:

To reflect dissatisfaction with love

Occasionally, partners in marriage deliberately deny themselves access to sex to express dissatisfaction. In particular, women use this as a means to show that she is dissatisfied with their spouses’ conduct. It often springs from earlier action or inaction of her partner. Therefore, each time it happens there is the possibility of preceding complaints. However, quality attention is needed in handling sex denial in marriage.

”In a seminar, a woman disclosed that she was grossly experiencing dissatisfaction in marriage. And her spouse didn’t show concern. Perhaps he thought everything was alright. And this prompted her to lock him out of sex. An outright denial. As a result of her action, he became sick and disoriented’‘.

Sex denial as a disciplinary action

Though, it is harsh. But some people use it as a way of disciplining their spouses. This happens when one perceives that her lover is engaging in an unholy affair with another woman. Again, it is used in exchange for outright assault. The belief is that it is better and more effective than fighting each other.

Women use sex denial to secure promises from their husbands

At times sex denial is staged, by women, in order to make men promise them. They deceptively use this style to secure promises to achieve desired purposes. Such promises could not have been made by their spouses under normal circumstances. Unfortunately, at that point, some men make irredeemable promises.

Sex denial is used to seek spouses’ attention

Sex denial is sometimes considered an effective means of securing men’s attention. At times. more intimate discussions are better made when in bed. Often, women take advantage of such positions to gain their partners’ attention.

To prevent the spread of infections

Denying one’s spouse of sex to prevent the spread of infection is allowed. Particularly, when it is noticed that your partner has such a problem. At any rate, this can happen to either of the parties. Therefore, a woman can prevent her spouse from being infected.

As retaliation for an earlier misdeed

At times one can be denied sex in retaliation for an offence made against his/her interest. Either party can always practice this, to reflect earlier wrongs made by his/her spouse. However, using this method in correcting spousal mistakes is unnecessarily harsh. Well, one can use what he has to get what he desires.

As an indication of hatred

When hatred sets in, the aggrieved party may deny her husband sex. The fact is that no enjoyment can be derived in any situation characterised by hatred. This depends mostly on the nature of the offence made against her.

Fixing sex denial in marriage

Now that various reasons for sex denial have been mentioned, fixes can be made. This is dependent on the nature of each reason. However, correcting wrongs in each of the cases may not necessarily be handled in the same manner. At any capacity, sex denial between couples can be fixed, in a few steps. Notwithstanding the situation, issues surrounding sex denial require a great deal of maturity and understanding. Otherwise, any attempt to handle your partner may worsen the situation. For this single reason, handling sex denial in marriage is relevant in order to maintain and strengthen spousal relationship

Steps in Fixing sex denial

Identify the root cause of the problem

Identifying the cause and its nature is the first step. Unless you are diligent in your findings, certain critical facts may not come up. It’s usually the case when one’s feelings are terribly affected. He/ she doesn’t want to see your face. So it takes patience and much effort to handle the situation.

”A young woman was reliably told that her spouse was dating their family’s doctor. She tried to establish the fact to no avail. Of course, she has no proof. She became disturbed. And she resulted into denying her spouse’s sex. Consequently, he could not comprehend the reason for her action. At the same time, she refused to disclose the reason. After much struggle, the man went all out to seek advice from a counsellor”.

Seek your partner’s attention for a discussion on the denial

A more mature way is through an engaging discussion between husband and wife. Real communication becomes imminent for a clear understanding of the whole situation. In this case, both of them will be comfortable to open up. The aggrieved party is now induced to divulge all manner of reasons behind his/her action. After the revelation, make a slight and pleasing statement. Avoid inflammatory statements capable of igniting your partner’s annoyance.

Offer necessary apology

At this stage a sincere apology is necessary. Offer an apology to secure your partner’s forgiveness. Most of the time, ordinary I am sorry is sufficient. Normally, a remorseful gesture and a sincere apology attract forgiveness. Which often necessitates a restoration of a healthy situation. Surprisingly, the closed gate is opened, giving passage to the region. All in the interest of love. In actual fact, sex is seen as a machinery for settling marital disputes.

Correct the identified wrongs

With the revelation of what is responsible for the act, more lessons are learnt and the next line of action is to correct the wrongs. More importantly, is to forestall reoccurrence at least for some time. There is no point in repeating the same things that usually cause displeasure in marriage. Marriage is somewhat sacred and should be treated as such. However, in resolving such issues avoid the involvement of a third party.