Correcting your spouse’s mistakes

Correcting your spouse’s mistake is not out of place, but the approach sometimes creates problems. Your effort will be appreciated when your approach and time are well aligned. As a couple, we are bound to wrong ourselves. A mistake is often perceived as a wrong action, step or judgment. It can be ignorantly made or unconsciously. Of course, we are not perfect. However, in all aspects of marital life improvement is necessary. By effecting correction, marriage becomes successful. It is a fact, that there is no perfect marriage. Understanding and maturity in marriage keep a relationship working. However, place, time and manner of approach are relevant and earnestly required when correcting your spouse’s mistakes.

Correcting one’s partner in marriage becomes eminent when the mistake involved is onerous. And because it affects relationships, we resist and prevent re-occurrence. It therefore provides an opportunity to act in a more acceptable way. Consequently, the marital relationship is strengthened. Notwithstanding, our method or approach is expected to be more model. This way, the affected party does not feel inferior or offended.

Steps in correcting your spouse

Establish the mistake(s)

The first step depends on establishing that your spouse made the mistake. Beyond this, is the availability of proof. It is important to have evidence of the mistake, place and time. These will give you the required impetus to put it across to your partner. Surprisingly, some mistakes are made ignorantly. Irrespective of that, mistakes need to be corrected. Otherwise, a mistake has a way of repeating itself.

Two things are involved in making mistakes. Where mistakes are committed unconsciously. In this case, the person is not aware. As such it can be somewhat difficult to establish the incident. The second is where he has forgotten that he/she made a mistake. In either of the cases, a great deal of care is required as it can lead to an untold argument. More so, it is healthier to discard unnecessary arguments in a marital life.

Initiate a move for the correction

This involves all modalities or approaches that will enable you to effect the desired correction. The language adopted to convey messages should be pleasing. You must be humble and mild in your approach. Be careful in the selection of your words and, avoid arguments or inflammatory statements. Note that there is no room for blame or accusation. All of these are capable of causing reactions that may thwart the effort.

Proactiveness in some cases is worthwhile. In some instances, an immediate correction is not inappropriate. But one must ensure that a third party is not present or in sight. Otherwise, the correction of mistakes made in public should be handled with maturity.

Selecting the appropriate place for the correction

The place appointed for the correction depends on individuals. And this has to do with the peculiarity of individual homes. However, it is not always the best to launch correction immediately or at the place of occurrence. Often, it causes embarrassment. The affected party may feel disgraced or ridiculous. Therefore, it is more significant to locate an ideal place for such a treatment. In correcting your spouse’s mistakes a great deal of carefulness is pertinent.

Appropriate places and time for marital discussion

A discussion under these circumstances calls for a more reserved location. A place devoid of interference. It is so because of its nature. Such discussion is exclusively for you and your spouse. No third party is invited and marital intruders are, consequently, prevented. Therefore, any of the following locations is good.

• Bedtime is a good time for discussion of this nature. You can always request a little time for this purpose. Of course, there is a likelihood of tiredness on both sides. But when you show signs of seriousness he/she will oblige. On the contrary, if the request is not approved on account of tiredness or stress, then exercise patience. Sometimes he may plead for a little rest.

• Give yourself a task to wake up at midnight. By then he must have had some rest. Approach him for the same purpose. Carefully introduce the discussion. Remember, it is not a time for argument. Go straight to the point.

• You can introduce the case while you are having dinner. However, some people don’t subscribe to a discussion while eating. It’s a good practice among some old couples. Mostly where husband and wife enjoy eating together. “I knew the mistake was not intentional, it’s better avoided next time.”
• Excuise your spouse for a special discussion in a closet. Once he gives you attention you are good to go. Correcting your spouse’s mistakes is for good.
• At times such discussions are better while having dinner. Notwithstanding the table manners, some old couples practice the idea. And its effectiveness is wonderful. In this case, you need to avoid argument.

Avoid open rectification

Importantly, respect in marriage is a factor in how to strengthen spousal relationship. So each party deserves due respect. Therefore, a bit of respect is necessary in correcting your spouse for mistakes made. And this does not, in any way, suggest a disgrace on both sides. At the same time, an amount of carefulness is needed to prevent a surge in your partner’s reaction.

“A man warned his wife never to correct him in public. His spouse’s response resulted in a more terrible face-off. He claimed that her action was to debase him. Of course, she didn’t mean to hurt him. The choice of words was not bad. But then, the place and time of correction were wrong”.

It is perceived that a rectification made in the open is not good enough, irrespective of the pleasant words and presentation. Although the intent is to put things right, but must not injure your partner’s feelings in so doing.