Flirt is a habit. A man is said to be flirting when he is always willing and ready to make love with anyone he is attracted to. So it applies to anyone in the habit. Usually, the intent behind their move is not for a permanent love arrangement. People in this practice are never serious about love. They seem to be careless in this regard. It is therefore an unfaithful act towards one’s spouse. No matter how you view it, the act reflects disrespect for the relationship. It has a direct consequence on trust and love. Flirt makes relationships weak and less interesting, it therefore, becomes your responsibility to facilitate how to stop your spouse from flirting to save your marriage.
In most cases, people who have experienced flirting in their marriages never find it easy. Especially, where their spouses are fully addicted to the act. It can be so disgusting and displeasing. Sometimes, it results in a critical situation that leads straight to separation. Nevertheless, no matter the situation, there is always a way out. However, habitual issues can be difficult to handle when it has become a way of life. However, once the cause is established it becomes easier to stop your spouse from flirting.
Let it not surprise you that a greater percentage of reasons for flirting is generated within. That is, some of the causes are traceable to the conduct of both parties. External influence, as the cause of flirting in a marriage, is not so prominent. At any rate, there is no effective solution without knowing the genesis or the possible causes of the problem. Notwithstanding, the causes of flirting can be categorised into two.
Causes of flirting in marriage
Internally generated causes of flirting
This refers to those causes that arise within the confines of the relationship. Many things that happen between a couple are private to them, including their sexual preference. But that does not mean that they are, absolutely, satisfied with each other conduct. The personal orientation of an individual has an impact on the relationship, no doubt. On this note, many people undergo terrible experiences and remain silent in the name of peace. But it can’t continue. On the occurrence of displeasure, either of the parties stays off. Surprisingly, some men claimed that they were not flirting originally. Some of them proved that their wives’ actions and inaction made them flirt. So, let’s look at some of the internally generated reasons for flirting in marriage.
Lack of romantic response from one’s spouse
A highly romantic person may not be comfortable with a partner who has less preference for sex. The possibility of a complaint is certain. It shows that one of the parties is not satisfied in love with the spouse. A few number of people with this experience stay off. And in a way to satisfy their urge, they look elsewhere. At the same time, it becomes an attitude when it continues.
Spouse appearing older than her age
Some people, due to carelessness, appear old. Older than their real age. In some marriages, this has resulted in a serious problem between couples. It mostly happens when a woman cannot package herself after birth. On the contrary, some men are naturally attracted to young-looking ladies. Men, generally, prefer seeing their spouses appearing cute and younger always. Therefore, be encouraged to impress your spouse through appearance.
Where dressing is not appealing
Basically, dressing is an agent of attraction. What appeals to people is their appearance among other things. Beauty is nature and does not determine real love. What is important in appealing to the opposite sex is appearance. For this reason, any deficiency or inappropriate appearance can put men off.
Prolonged hatred
It is possible to have a genuine reason to hate your spouse. It happens in marriage. But, it’s of no benefit when it’s taking too long. Misunderstanding is better handled, with dispatch, without delay. Otherwise, you will unconsciously give passage to a strong discord. Soon, your spouse will start to look for relief. If he’s the type that loves sex, he would look for an alternative. Should you carelessly fail to resolve the issue on time, the likelihood of securing six ladies is certain.
Sex denial
Sex denial is an unwholesome attitude displayed to deprive one’s spouse of sex. Normally, in a marriage sex is the ultimate and primary responsibility of both parties to satisfy each other. Therefore, denying your husband his right and duty, in this regard, can lead straight to untold hardship. In most cases, men under this condition may seek alternatives. Particularly, if the situation is unnecessarily prolonged. The fact remains that, some men can’t do without sex. certainly, sex denial is one of the four major causes of devastating hatred in marriage.
Frequent domestic violence
Unfortunately, domestic violence often results in an interim separation between a couple. And this can go on for some time, depending on the causes of the violence. Surprisingly, some causes of discord in marriage remain private. Of course, not meant for a third party. As such, it calls for resolving marital issues without a third party. In some cases, frequent domestic violence is a reason why some men hang out. The belief is that they are staying away from the problem. This makes some husbands come back late from the office. The effect of this is the likelihood of meeting other ladies who care. Instead, you can always stop your spouse from flirting.
External causes of marital flirting
By external causes, we refer to those factors that can always influence some people to flirt. People in this category find themselves in the act due to the people they associate with. Some married men and women could not explain how they got into the practice. In this category, we have element of people who naturally feel like making love with people they get attracted to. Astonishingly, they have no intent for any serious relationship. It is typical of all flirters to hit and run. There is no definite reason for making love.
Influence of friends and associates
Naturally, flirting is not in the character of some people from the beginning. But unfortunately, they later copied the idea from friends and the people they associate with. Many people are influenced by their friends who are already in the practice.
Flirt by nature
Some people are flirters from the onset. It is their way of life. To a greater extent, many of them are known with this attitude. They are shameless. At the same time, some hide their character. They all get attracted to people to make love with. Ignorantly, some women still have genuine love for such men.
Frequent visits to sex workers’ arena
A frequent visit to locations where sex workers are concentrated can decoy one’s sentiment. Therefore anyone who likes visiting such a place is due to be corrupted.
Common characters of flirters
They always get attracted to or have feelings of love towards people
Often, they look at ladies lustfully
Flirters enjoy being in the mist ladies
They are usually kind to ladies.
Steps to stop your spouse from flirting
Confirm that he is truly flirting
To establish this fact, you need to carry out a fact-finding. This will enable you to equip yourself with good reasons to allege your spouse is cheating on you. Nonetheless, in your finding, there’s a possibility of wrong information. But your ability to sieve out the wrong information is important. You must be sure that your facts are genuine. You will need to avoid false accusations. It can result in another complication, particularly if your spouse doesn’t cheat. So, get your facts right.
Seek your spouse’s attention (communication)
In this step, communication is the key. You will need to get your spouse’s attention at the right time and place. It is wise to know the best time and place to resolve marital disputes. Carefully table your observations. Let him understand that you have your facts. By the time you say this, he knows you have discovered his secret. Thereafter, give him a chance to make his representation. His response would determine the next line of action.
A gentleman will show remorse. He may, possibly, give reasons that led him into such a habit. He may regret and tender an apology. On the contrary, some men will deny and put up a defence. That doesn’t mean that they are not guilty. Already you have your facts. Be careful, and avoid undue argument.
Trace his reason(s) to either internal or external causes of flirting
His response will reveal the reasons behind his actions. In any way, the reasons could be traced to internally generated causes of flirting or external causes of marital flirting. Remember your motive is how to stop your spouse from flirting. So, be focused. Study his facial expression and body movements while talking. With all these, you can determine his level of sincerity. This gives you a clear picture of why he decided to flirt.
Work on your inadequacy
By now, you must have known if the cause(s) is due to your actions or inaction. Work on your inadequacy. Improve as, appropriate, on your performance in love. There’s always room for improvement. Ask yourself the following question
- What is your area of deficiency as a spouse in love?
- What are the demands/requests of your spouse when making love?
Now, answer the above-listed questions concerning the causes of flirting. At the same time, be willing to change your style to impress and entice your husband. Dress moderately to attract his attention. Let your actions show that you are far better than the best lady outside his marriage. With this concept, he will make a change for the better.
How to stop external causes of flirting
You can always stop your spouse from flirting. Though it involves a whole lot of stress, it’s achievable. It’s a matter of engaging his leisure time on something more meaningful and beneficial to the marriage. Usually, some men use their leisure time or free time to flex and engage in other forms of enjoyment.
All you need to do is to engage his time in some activities that will prevent him from flirting.
- Engage in road work every Saturday morning
- Both of you should engage in regular cleaning of your home and surrounding/compound
- Arrange for an occasional visit to a good recreation centre around
- Engage him in a monthly discussion about the family’s progress
- Convince him of the need to spend some quality time with his family
- Attend marriage or relationship seminars together.
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