In marital life, love is not always static in strength. It can be strong and, at other times, it reflects weakness. However, relationships exist to manage situations. Not that love is always blossoming. There are occasions where lovers experience discomfort, due to certain unpleasant factors. In such a situation, the condition of marriage would be characterised by complaints and hatred. Of course, the experience can continue until action is taken to correct the wrong. The four major causes of devastating hatred in marriage often reduce love and truncate trust which, unfortunately, portrays an unhealthy relationship.
Many factors often cause love to be weak in a relationship. But then, four of these factors can result in a devastating blow to the entire marriage. This can bring about a total hatred between husband and wife. Other causes are usually mild. Their effect may not result in serious damage as they can be addressed with understanding and maturity. Though such variables directly impact the existing love, it may not result in hatred.
Causes for devastating hatred in a relationship
Unfaithfulness in marriage
The incident of unfaithfulness towards one’s partner is a cardinal offence in marriage. In most cases, the affected party often find it difficult to forgive. Many marriages have broken because of infidelity. There is no sufficient explanation to forgive the offender of infidelity. The act immediately causes damages to the existing trust. Trust, normally, is the backbone of love. Consequently, any assault or impact on trust will have a corresponding effect on love. Infidelity often brings about a crack in the marital wall.
Sex denial
A good and effective way to confirm the existence of love is sex. Irrespective of the degree. Unless in cases of rape, love would not happen without agreement. The coming together of the two minds to have sex shows there is an element of love. However, the love may not necessarily be strong. Sex in marriage is fundamental. Therefore, to deny one’s spouse quality sex is a crime. To a greater extent, marriage without sex is a potential problem. To redeem the situation required a sound handling of sex denial in marriage.
Practically. sex can be singled out as a key point among the four major causes of devastating hatred in marriage.
In fact, sex is an effective machinery for settling marital disputes. Under normal circumstances, no sexual intercourse takes place without consensus. So, any act of denying your spouse quality sex is wicked.
Sudden change in lifestyle
There is always a reaction to a sudden change in the lifestyle of one of the parties. For instance, a sudden dislike of a romantic style as against the wish of one’s spouse can cause problems. Not that change is bad, but not grossly at the expense of his partner’s interest. Nevertheless, where it becomes necessary to charge a lifestyle it should be a gradual process. By this, your partner would have time to absorb and gradually get acquainted with your new way of life. This is purely a character change in marital life
Discussion about ex-lover
Discussing one’s Ex-lover with the spouse is one of the onerous offences in marriage. You need not refresh your memory on the issues surrounding your past lover in the presence of your spouse. If this is done repeatedly, you simply show that you still love your Ex. The implication is a reduction in the love your spouse has for you. At the same time, the existing trust would be affected. Unfortunately, some marriages crashed because of unguided discussions centred on past lovers. A good and mature couple needs an understanding of how to manage an Ex-lover
“A young lady, threatening to divorce her husband, approached me for advice before taking action. There was a rift between them. She explained with betterness that her spouse is in the habit of mentioning his Ex-lover’s name.”
No doubt, old things have passed away. Therefore, initiating discussion about past experiences in love is one of the four major causes of devastating hatred in marriage. In other words, avoid all the factors mentioned to maintain a healthy marriage.
