Responsible for misdeed
Blame is simply an accusation that one is responsible, perhaps, for some lapse or misdeed. But it is not always good to shift the blame on your partner, where both are involved. For blame to be apportioned, it means that something is missing. An indication that somebody is either not playing his/her role or careless. But because of its negative nature, it should rather be tread with carefulness. If not, in some cases, it can lead straight to annoyance, Causing displeasure and hatred, if care is not taken. Not that blame is wrong, but there is a chance of it wrongly used. In the incidence where somebody is wrongly blamed or accused. The consequential effect of such can be somewhat disheartened. The aggrieved one would remain unhappy for a long while. So it is always good to avoid undue blame in marital life. Rather, patience is better embraced.
Apportion blame with fact
In marital life, it is strongly advisable that blame should not be applied without fact. When adequate or a considerable level of fact is established concerning a situation, then blame can be apportioned. However, it is expected that spouses should have a better understanding of themselves. This provides you with knowledge about your spouse’s reaction to similar issues. We must realize the fact that people react to issues differently. Notwithstanding, it does not stop you from blaming your spouse for undue mistakes or obvious carelessness.
To forestall re-occurrence
The intention or purpose for blaming is, essentially, to forestall future occurrences of similar mistakes or carelessness. And unless it is pointed out, your spouse might not realize it. As such the likelihood of re-occurrence is brighter. Making your spouse realize his misdeed earlier is not bad. But it can heat up the system if launched just immediately. So you need to be patient and observe the situation.
Truly, two wrongs can not make a right. Therefore, it is not encouraged to apportion blame or accuse your spouse when the situation is still hot. In this case, you need to exercise patience and adopt a bit of wisdom. At the initial stage when the issue is fresh, what is important is the solution to the problem. The situation should not, at this stage, attract overt action or quarrel. In a bid to put the blame across to your spouse avoid unguided statements. Notwithstanding, raising blame is not the problem. TO AVOID UNDUE BLAME IN MARITAL LIFE IS RELEVANT.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
6 comments
This is a good guide to avoid skirmishes at matrimonial homes. But love and understanding is key performance indicator to building a Happy home devoid of argument.