In a relationship, tolerance reflects the willingness of one party to endure the nature and character of the second party freely. It often comes with respect for the rights and the way of living of each other in love. An effective remedy to some differences emanating within the sphere of relationships is tolerance. It has the necessary capacity to absorb mistakes and resolve conflicts. Therefore, the existence of tolerance in a marriage gives room for a lasting peaceful environment. Generally, marriage is pleasant when husband and wife are disposed to accommodate the shortcomings of each other. It does not matter the degree and nature of the deficiencies, you should be able to display some level of tolerance. There is no perfection in marriage, in the first place. Marriage is a business that excels when run with understanding and maturity. At any rate, tolerance in a marriage has a direct impact on the healthy coexistence of the husband, wife, and children.
The inclination to overlook certain mistakes of one’s spouse is the essence of tolerance in wedlock. Be receptive towards the beliefs and attitudes of your spouse. It is natural for either of you to fall prey to errors. Unfortunately, it is time-wasting to wait to correct mistakes made by your partner. You need to develop the idea or character that will enable you to ignore those things that are made in error. Truly, you can’t be comfortable with all your spouse’s characters, but you are accommodating him. Some of these attitudes are already part of him.
At the same time, some characters or errors can’t be tolerated for a long time. In such cases, you might need to seek your spouse’s attention. Endeavour to put issues on the table for discussion on how best to handle anomalies.
Why do you need tolerance in your marriage?
The answer to this question is fundamental to a peaceful coexistence of the husband, wife and children in the same environment. The interaction of these people cannot be hitch-free. There must be reasons for action and reaction, irrespective of the love that exist among them. At the same time, the likelihood of marital conflict is very certain. Therefore, the importance of tolerance cannot be undermined.
“A mature woman of about 50 years old told me her husband is very harsh and can easily pick offence. Often he reacts to issues that could be ignored. Highly erratic in character. She said she is coping, with the help of tolerance. She further confirmed to me that no marriage can experience a considerable level of peace without tolerance.”
Therefore, the above scenario revealed that a great deal of tolerance is required to run your marriage. Not that both parties can have this quality at the same time, but at least one of them. There is no point for the two parties to be unnecessarily hot. It does not do your marriage any good. What makes a good marriage is to show good understanding with a quantum of tolerance. And with this, you are sure of how to maintain peace in a marriage.
Reasons for tolerance in relationships
There are some reasons or causes that usually necessitate tolerance in a marriage. So, it becomes an inevitable tool to maintain an enviable relationship. Though, in marriage, two different people from different backgrounds have become one, but not in character. For this reason, you need to study your spouse’s character. This allows you to predict and tolerate some of his characters. Now, let us look into reasons that oftentimes call for tolerance in a marriage:
Lifestyle of your spouse
Individual lifestyle in a marriage is an integral part of the relationship, hence it needs to be managed. It is, basically, a reflection of someone’s ways of living. According to Colling’s dictionary, lifestyle is the living conditions, behaviour, and habits that are typical of a person. Anyhow you perceive it, everyone is responsible for his/her lifestyle. Nevertheless, you will be much concerned when your spouse’s ways of life is affecting you or the relationship. Otherwise, you should be able to accommodate her. One aspect of marriage is the ability to tolerate. Practically, you will find it difficult to live together with someone you cannot accommodate. The relationship between you and that person is tolerance. The moment you can no longer tolerate the person, it calls for separation. Obviously, there is no gain in living or coexisting with a person, you cannot cope with his/her ways of life. In another dimension, compatibility in marital life can be fully achieved through tolerance. Moreso, when you understand your spouse’s lifestyle you will have insight into how to strengthen marital relationships.]
Individual background
The background of an individual refers to, among other things, training, social heritage, experience and the way he/she perceives things. So, everyone has a background that can always influence reasons and the way he does things. It, therefore, indicates that you are from different families. You will naturally behave differently. On this premise, it requires tolerance for you to be in a wedlock without fracas. Normally, there must be issues in the area of understanding and cooperation. To stay at peace with your spouse, you might need to adjust your style, now and again. And this is where compatibility in characters comes in. In a relationship husband and wife may not have the same view on a particular issue. However, they can always agree, based on understanding and common purpose. This is possible when the importance of tolerance in a marriage is fully recognised.
Change in status
As time goes by in your marriage, you will begin to experience some changes, particularly, in the status. All things being equal, status is not expected to remain stagnant. It changes from one stage to another. Promotion and change of employment, for instance, are some elements that often bring about status changes. So, when this happens it may cause changes in the character of your spouse. Not necessarily negative or prideful. It sometimes happens due to the new office or the nature of the new work.
“For example, when a friend was promoted to a higher office it affected his marriage. The promotion came with more responsibilities. It became difficult for him to do some of the things he used to do. So, his wife became uncomfortable. And she reacted without asking why the changes.“
Personal Belief
Belief is personal. It reflects faith and trust someone has in one thing or the other. On a wider note, many people don’t joke with their faith. Belief is one thing that attracts respect. At the same time, people in this category, want others to regard their faith. However, you are not in any way obliged to share your faith. Therefore, you need to treat your spouse according to his/her beliefs. Everything boils down to tolerance. Once you agree to be in a relationship, accommodating everything about your partner is important. Understanding the importance of tolerance in a marriage is the beginning of peace in and around your relationship.
Many people experienced complication in their marriages, not because there is no love. But, owing to the fact that they refused to respect their spouses’ beliefs. Don’t mind them. They are simply ignorant of the importance of tolerance in a marriage. Of course, the issue of faith is peculiar to individual. And, it should be construed as such. You are not in anyway compelled to Partake or align with your spouse’s belief. It’s a question of choice.
