Love as a temporary relationship
No wonder some people don’t cherish marriage life until after some years. Again some see it as a temporary relationship, particularly, at the initial stage. A candle is meant to burn out within a short time. This is basically because of the likelihood of changes in character from either of the couple. Usually, at the early stage of marriage, the real character is never displayed. And this is different from the composition of characters exhibited during courtship. It all implies that the real character doesn’t come to play until after some time in marriage. In marriage life, individual character is not likely to remain the same. Therefore couples must learn to cope with characters change in marital life.
Love at the initial stage
But because at the initial stage love is completely blind. Mistakes are easily forgiven and deformities are not noticed. All because of love. And it continues for a while. Where love candle is allowed to burn normal. You hardly can notice differences. And when it happens it doesn’t take time to amend. The nature of love will not allow lovers to delete wrong without consideration. Love tolerates, accommodates and of high forgiven spirit. They would not want to offend themselves, hence the tolerance. In most cases, all the good qualities of love are temporarily present at the initial stage. When responsibilities have not started setting in. To some extent lovers view and perceive issues commonly from the same angle. This concept will drive them through to the day of marriage. After which they will begin to see the reality of life. Of course the beginning of marital life.
Now people from different background have agreed to stay together. And the title changes to a couple. At this point no parental advice, caution or directive. They must learn to do things in their own way. The journey of, for better and for worse commences. They both take responsibly for their marital actions and inaction. To this end friends and family must stay clear. Leaving them alone to proceed on their marital journey.
Growth in style and maturity
As time goes by, the two of them will start to grow in style and maturity. Many things will start to unfold themselves. And the real life in marital concern becomes prominent. Certainly, 20 children cannot play together and reside together for 20years. Nature must take its course.
Just because both are from different background and training. Couples need to learn how to leave together. Unfortunately, this is not always easy. Residing together as husband and wife under the same roof is never an easy task. However, with love and understanding they can have a nice marital journey.
Individual character changes in life. And this will affect people around, friends and colleagues. Likewise in marriage life, character keeps changing. And couple must adjust, otherwise there will be problem. Once there is problem many things would go wrong. So for peace and progress to reign, certain quality must be employed. Those items that will embrace peace and chase away unnecessary disagreement.
Unfortunately, what sadden heart mostly is when you find your spouse changing for the worse. For instance where one’s spouse is gradually becoming a drunkard. And he doesn’t care about his personalty in the neighbourehood. A friend’s wife disclosed to me, a bad development in their marital life. Her husband was found dating a housewife in the next street. That was not in his character from beginning. Nevertheless, characters change in marital life is a fact.
Among the qualities required to manage marital affair are as follows
Patience
Couple need to have patience to enable them to follow up marital issues. And because we are human being we cannot have the same character. And for this reason we need to be patient with ourselves in most cases. Marital issues doesn’t require overt actions for settlement. It is believed that you know your spouse very well. So with patience certain irregularities can be addressed.
Tolerance
Except we learn to tolerate ourselves we are likely to be reacting to all unfavourable situations. Couple need to develop willingness to respect people ideology. Husband and wife are not likely to see things the same way. Therefore they need a great deal of patience to be able to have a considerable level of coexistence. Unusual developments may start to unfold after sometimes in marriage. Some are due to changes in character of his/her spouse.
Understanding
Showing understanding in most cases provides an inclination for support or to agree with an opinion. To understand your spouse in some of his beliefs brings peace. Particularly when you are mindful of his/her background.
Trust
A considerable level of trust is necessary to consolidate love. As love depends largely on trust. It should always be given ultimate chance in a marital setting. Otherwise doubt and unnecessary argument will set in. And when this happens marital system may collapse. When trust subsist, changes in character has no serious meaning
For a marriage to be smooth and full of joy, a lot of sacrifice is required. When you allow your spouse to have his way because of peace, it is a sacrifice. So sacrifice is necessary to accommodate some changes in characters.
However, whatever the situation, a room should be created for adjustment. Especially if changes in character is causing pain. Excess of such pain can make life difficult for your spouse. In this case a discussion is necessary to address all characters that are inflicting pain. To accommodate unnecessary changes in character has limit. And if this is not addressed, it can lead to a situation where one is unhappy in love. Though to cope with changes in characters requires a great deal of sacrifice, patience, trust, tolerance, cooperation and understanding. All these enable one to cope with characters change in marital life after some times in marriage
;
