In marriage, respect for one’s partner is fundamental. It is required to strengthen the love between the two parties. Holding your spouse in esteem no doubt attracts honour. Consequently, respect is seen to be reciprocal under normal circumstances. A relationship with deep affection is mostly predicated on due regard between husband and wife, hence the need for respect in marriage.
Real marital respect does not give room for an unnecessary face-off in marital life between the two parties. And this is because of the positive feeling shown towards each other. One does not needlessly disregard the right of his/her spouse. In any case, there are instances where disagreement comes up. But it does not shun respect. Mutual respect is the key to the most successful relationship. Communication becomes pertinent, and differences are discussed and resolved amicably. In this way, both parties have honoured each other’s rights. And as such incessant complaint is minimised
Perception of respect in marriage
Respect is perceived in different ways, in marriage. However, this can be discoursed under two categories:
Respect as perceived by the couple
Husband and wife in marriage see respect as due regard for the feeling and rights of the individual in wedlock. For this reason, each party deserves due admiration from his/her spouse. Respect normally goes with honour. And, politeness and thoughtfulness are the necessary ingredients to achieve this.
Respect as perceived by family and friends
The degree of respect accorded by both family and friends toward any couple depends on the quality of esteem established by the couple. A discipline, respectful, loving and pleasant couple are usually given respect by their acquaintances. Nevertheless, no distinguished honour or regard is attracted to a relationship where respect is lacking. Your associate would give your marriage the quantum of regard it deserves.
Benefits of marital respect
- Respect in a relationship is meant to strengthen love.
- Your spouse will always be attracted to you.
- You would gain his/her support.
- In your absence, your interest will be protected.
- It enhances trust.
- You are sure of special treatment for honouring your spouse’s rights
- Respect for your partner prevents marital intruders.
- Because you respect your spouse, people will be forced to admire you.
How to create respect in marriage
In creating respect in marriage certain characteristics are required. A degree of self-discipline and recognition/regard for human rights is relevant. Obviously, having a sincere and eloquent love for your spouse is the bedrock of marriage. If you cherish your spouse, passionately, you will respect and care for him/her dearly.
- Normally, on the part of men, respect is earned. A man is expected to wake up to his responsibility. When you play your role effectively, you would gain respect. Full-blown respect is usually given to men who are not found wanting in their marital responsibilities.
- You would be honoured and respected for caring for each member of your family. Notwithstanding, your spouse deserves special care. Interestingly, women do respect their spouses when they receive the care they deserve.
- Show some level of proactiveness in all marital issues. A considerable number of women prefer men who are of full action in all aspects of marital life. Based on this, respect in marriage is made to wax stronger.
- The provision of adequate protection for your family is a sure way of attracting your spouse’s respect. Women particularly, respect their husbands for such gestures. The protection of one’s wife is a fundamental responsibility
- Always engage your wife in a robust and sincere discussion before taking some critical decision that bothers marital issues.
- Show maximum concern in all that affects your spouse’s feelings and yearning.
- Pick all necessary bills in time.
- Show unquantified love to each and every member of his/her family.
When respect fails
Respect fails when a party refuses to offer quality respect or ceases to reciprocate respect given by the spouse. It, therefore, shows that there is an existence of contempt. And marriage without respect for the other may suffer real intimacy. Both will experience dissatisfaction in marriage. They commonly disagree on terms and therefore lose admiration from associates, friends and family.
Causes of disrespect in a marriage
Disrespect will mostly arise in any of the following situations:
- When trust is betrayed, it has a direct impact on the existing respect in marriage
- If a party absolutely and, or consistently fails in his/her responsibilities.
- Disrespect can easily set in when a party display indiscipline in his/her conduct.
- One loses the respect of his spouse should he fail in redeeming promises.
- Where a party fails to respect his/herself spouse.
- Changing lifestyles from one to another can always displease the other party.
- For not being proactive or not responsive to issues that require immediate attention.
- When a party keeps failing his/her spouse in sex.
- In a case of marital infidelity.
- Open disgrace or use of wrong words on your spouse.
- A party can be disregarded for keeping too many secrets from his/her spouse.
- Respect may fail if the marriage is based, primarily, on material things and not true love
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.