Be mindful of your spouse’s feelings at every point in time. Show maximum concern for his/her well-being to reflect love and care. As a necessary partner, ask questions in order to know the source of his worry. Determine the degree of the worries and the potential damage. This gives you a clear view of the nature of the problem. Thereafter, a more proficient solution can be jointly proffered. Typical marital problems are meant to be solved. And each time issues are resolved, it strengthens the love and harmony between a couple. Irrespective of the nature and cause of problems, be proactive in marital issues to forestall degeneration in a relationship.
No marriage is free of one challenge or the other. But what is really important is to make an efficient and more lasting solution. Problems are better tackled as they ensue. Marriage life cannot be completely devoid of problems. However, it can vary. Each home has its peculiar challenges. And the solution is, somewhat, in accordance with the style and practice prevailing in individual marriage. Surprisingly the method that works for your family may not be effective in another. The nature and causes of problems will sometimes determine the solution. It takes two to tangle. Most times, the problem can be unilateral in nature.
Unilateral problems in marital life
It happens when the problem(s) is caused by either husband or wife. In this case, there is usually a traceable reason for the problem. The extent or, the potential damage is another thing. But once the source of a problem is acknowledged the solution is not far-fetched. Swing into action and effect the needful.
Bilateral issues in marriage
Where the problem involved both husband and wife, it is said to be bilateral. This is so because both parties, are individually, or jointly contribute to the cause of the problem. Both are directly or indirectly involved. If both realize their faults without complaining, the problem will soon vanish. On the contrary, it poses complications if they are apportioning undue blame to each other.
Effect of external influence
Some problems are due to external influences. And this can be in different forms. In this situation non of the parties is responsible for the problem. The causes of this can be; gossiping, inciting, rumour, backbiting, pears influence, interest, and many more. Problems caused by any of these can be so insidious and detrimental to the affected relationship. It may, initially, be difficult to trace the source. And because it is an external influence, it will remain hidden for a while. Unfortunately, such a problem may keep lingering until the source is discovered.
Providing regular solutions to problems
Marital problems will continue to occur between husband and wife as long as they are together. Let it not surprise you that a couple of 60 years still have some marital differences. Believe it or not, most successful marriages are not without challenges. Problems are part of life. Importantly, your ability to solve your own problems matters. Never mind how frequently problem surfaces, your ability to proffer a solution each time is relevant. No matter the cause, always be proactive in marital issues.
A man told me that his parents are in their 70s. He said both can not be in harmony for 24hrs without exchanging words. He explained that, often, they argue over ideas and suggestions. Such that his mother would want his father to always agree with her views and claims. But what is surprising is that they always resolve issues without any interference.
With the above scenario, it is apparent that both are in love. The stated issue is their own peculiar marital challenge. And they have their private way of resolving it.
Be proactive in your approach to marital issues
Be intelligent enough to spot potential problems. Take appropriate steps to forestall the manifestation of such a problem. When a problem eventually surfaces, be proactive enough to tackle it before causing more damage. Carelessness on the part of either of the two can worsen the situation. And many things could go wrong if, necessary, action is not taken. Never short-change the use of “I am sorry” when it becomes necessary to resolve issues. Genuine acceptance of an apology compliments efforts to resolve issues. Resolving marital issues without a third party strengthens the love and consolidates the marital bond.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
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