To complain at whatever capacity is a simple way of protesting. Therefore to complain is to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something. Of course something you are not comfortable with. To some extent, the act is not negative. But rather an attempt to express discomfort. However, it becomes disturbing when it comes up too often, from a spouse. At any rate, such protest required attention. Making a good effort to minimize incessant complaints from a spouse is a good step in the right direction. All in the interest of peace and love. Truly, he that complains wants a change.
Obviously, there must be reason(s) for the complaint. It is an indication that the complaining spouse is in pain. Mind you, he/she does not want the pain any longer, rather he wants a change. Now it is duty-bound on the part of one to look in the direction of his/her spouse. Majorly in an effort to deduce the reason for the incessant complaint. And because the affected partner is his/her spouse, it becomes easier. Notwithstanding, if steps are not taken appropriately, many things could go wrong in a marital setting. And this shows that one is not concerned. The language – you are not caring will come to play.
Suggested steps to address complaints from a spouse
No matter the extent of the complaint, what is important is to find a way around a bottleneck. In case it is difficult to change, then minimizing is the next option. Unless one knows the root cause of the complaint it can be difficult to change. Because there is solution to every problem, the following steps are good suggestions:
First – Obtain a clear insight into the nature of compaint
Consider some of his/her complaints. What actually did your spouse complain about. With this, you will have a clear insight into the nature of the protest. Never mind the subject matter, you are not likely to feel the same way. Would you deny your spouse of tooth prick after drinking ordinary water? You might think he doesn’t need it. Denying him can generate a severe complaint. Satisfying one’s spouse involves much understanding and prompt response to his/her complaint. At any instance, what is important is to minimize incessant complaints from one’s spouse.
Second – Consider the feeling and reaction of one’s spouse
Consider his/her countenance and action each time he/she complains. This gives you the degree of his/her dissatisfaction about what the complaint is all about. Thereby you will know and understand his/her feeling about the objection. It is an indication that the person wants his/her spouse to adjust.
Third – Determine who is responsible for the complaint
Determining whose fault is essential. Something, certainly, is responsible for the complaint. Action is really causing the reaction. This needs to be traced in order to determine whose fault. Through this, a corrective measure can be taken to forestall re-occurrence or minimize it.
Most of the time, both can share the blame unknowingly. And sometimes it can be unilaterally traced to a party. In any case, it is beneficial to trace out what is responsible for the complaint. And whose fault.
There was a rift between a couple. The reason was later traced to an unattended complaint. Good enough the subject of the complaint was clear to both. But there was no specific agreement on the subject matter. The wife was complaining about the prolonged presence of her mother-in-law in her matrimonial home. Her presence was due to her ill health. It was later discovered that the husband is the only child of the woman. Obviously, her in-law has nowhere to go other than her son’s place.
Also a man kept complaining about one of his spouse’s friends. He would not want her to maintain association with a drunkard. According to him, he had found the lady being assisted home due to excessive drinking. But his spouse did not see her friend as such. Hence the rift.
Fourth – Make appropriate adjustment
Now that you have ascertained the reason(s) for the complaint. Be prepared to adjust as appropriate if you are responsible for the complaint. Anything you do that is affecting and causing your spouse to complain should be stopped. Otherwise, effort should be geared towards minimizing incessant complaints. A movie actress was once locked out for coming late from a rehearsal. Before this action, her husband had been complaining to no avail. So, what prompted the action was her insensitive to the complaint. Though, because of the nature of her work, she could not stop coming late occasionally. With understanding, she was advised to minimize the rate of coming late. She adjusted, and peace was restored. In this case, adjustment is the underlying fact.
However where the blame is a sharing fault between the parties. Then each will have to adjust or correct as the case may be. Meaning that each has a role to play. Otherwise, both will have reason to blame each other. And it is strongly advised to avoid undue blame in a marital setting. Therefore when it is noticed that same complaint is coming up too often. A step should be taken to address it. Usually, an incessant complainer needs attention. A protester in this sense should be perceived as a person in pain.
keeping love active in the face of incessant complaints from your spouse
Above all to keep love active, a spouse complaining about should take further steps. Get an ideal time and appropriate location to table the case for joint consideration. In a way of giving and take. Of course in every home, there are ups and downs. There is no perfect home. A clever spouse responds to issues promptly and manages affairs accordingly. The situation can be so worse if an adjustment is not made. However where it is difficult to change, for a good reason, then adjust to minimize it. This way there wouldn’t be many complaints on the same issue. And because of the existence of love between couples, complaints should not be allowed to degenerate. Uphold love strongly and, peace and progress will be attracted. In every situation where love subsists, you don’t really need a third party.
Importance of communication in marital life
In marriage, communication is relevant and therefore it becomes necessary to voice out. Let your partner know what is annoying you. Make it clearer with every sense of seriousness. This way your spouse will see a reason to adjust as necessary. However, where one fails to communicate, the incidence will reoccur. Complaining means that you want a change. Also to minimize incessant complaints from your spouse. Communicate with maturity to engage your spouse for effective change in the area that gives you discomfort.
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