Marriage becomes boring and displeasing when a party experiences disappointment due to love frustration and unfulfillment. The affected party will be angry and sad. The situation will make it difficult for both parties to comprehend real love. It is so because some forces undermine the purpose of coming together as a couple in married life. Some of these factors can be ascribed to certain activities that happen within the marriage. Your reaction to issues and situations counts. All these attitudes create an affair that either brings about happiness or discomfort. Happiness can be made, and sadness, sometimes, is a resultant effect of our actions and inaction. Therefore, understanding the causes of love frustration in a marriage and how to address them is a sure way to prevent disappointment in love. Not only that, but the idea works against recurrence if you have once experienced it.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!Feeling of dissatisfaction, disappointment and emptiness
The feeling of dissatisfaction, emptiness or disappointment is a notable sign of love frustration. In that situation, the concerned partner begins to perceive that his/her expectations are not met. Things are not working in her favour as planned. It is usual for someone to have a plan and purpose before venturing into a business or a relationship. All these efforts become useless if the expectation is not actualised. Irrespective of the causes, one will feel sad and disappointed. In some extreme situations when hope seems chartered, the affected partner might be looking for an alternative. Perhaps, the decision to end the relationship may be an imminent option. This is why some married women choose to live separately
The real effect of love will be eroded. Though in every marriage, there is the possibility of error or misunderstanding, for there is no perfect formula in marriage. And that is why a good lover operates with understanding and maturity in the face of misfortune, conflict, and external influences. All complaints, particularly those related to marital affairs, won’t be easily resolved when love is downplayed. Regrettably, certain factors are responsible for love frustration.
Factors that undermine the existence of love in a marriage
Several factors can undermine the existence of love in a relationship. Each of these factors is capable of frustrating the bliss that typically accompanies a wedding. It happens because they exist to disappoint and thwart the existence of love. Ordinarily, the relationship between two parties is more cordial when they are steadfast in a common goal. Having the same interest is the beauty of coming together as an entity. However, the positive impact of this practice scales down if certain negative actions are taken against the purpose of marriage. The following are some of the noticeable characteristics or reasons that cause love frustration in an already blissful relationship.
Disrespecting your spouse’s rights
Disrespect is the other side of honour, and it demoralises. No one will be comfortable being disrespected by his/her spouse. Disrespect is one offence that often causes a party to be displeased with the other. Therefore, when respect is withheld, it brings about dishonour. And love will be affected, consequently. In other words, you weaken the potency of love when you disregard your spouse’s rights. Of course, many actions or steps taken sometimes run against the rights of your partner. It therefore means that any contemptuous act will debase your partner’s respect. Disrespecting one’s spouse is one of the reasons for conflict in some marriages. Respect is reciprocal. You are bound to be disrespected if you disregard your partner’s rights.
Failing in your marital obligation
Failing in the discharge of your duties in marriage has a direct impact on the existing love. In this context, the obligation is an expectation to do something morally towards your partner. In other words, your spouse expects you to perform certain duties in his/her interest. Your failure to execute this responsibility will create a vacuum. If such a vacuum is not managed effectively, marriage can be constrained. As a result of non-performance of your duties, you begin to lose respect. Under normal circumstances, husband and wife show each other respect in order to balance their relationship.
When you denied your spouse the necessary attention
Giving quality attention to your partner in love is fundamental to a healthy relationship. You are directly charged with this responsibility. In many cases of marital conflicts, what is sometimes the bone of contention is not financing. The complaint is about not giving adequate attention to one’s spouse. Unfortunately, some men are grossly at fault in this regard. In marriage, giving adequate attention to your spouse is crucial and makes a wholesome married life. To a large extent, for instance, women prefer men who give them attention. They can always show understanding when other things are lacking. Attention shows that you care.
Marital hatred
Hatred often arises when the spirit of friendship disappears and enmity reigns between a couple. This occasionally occurs due to misunderstanding and carelessness. Whatever is responsible, hatred is negative. Though it might be temporary. At times, disagreements that can be ignored can lead to hatred. T.D.Jakes confirm that it is perfectly normal to feel anger, and it is a natural human reaction to feeling wronged or disrespected. But then, such wrong or disrespect should be well managed and never allowed to degenerate into hatred.
Frequent complaints against each other.
Unnecessary complaints often reduce the effectiveness of love. A complaint is an indication that a party is displeased with a certain action or activity of his/her partner. Constructive complaining about one’s displeasure doesn’t constitute a crime. Nevertheless, it can lead to hatred when it becomes incessant. When a complaint keeps coming from one party, it creates displeasure in the mind of the other party. Consequently, it has a significant effect on love, which can lead straight to hatred.
When marriage lacks a quality romantic life
A profound romantic life is dependent on how you handle love and exhibit care towards your spouse. Any attempt to shun this may result in a crisis between a couple. Therefore, this aspect of marriage is essential. It is an integral part of married life. Once this is missing, the entire marital system is lacking a fundamental function. The parties involved will find it somewhat difficult to comprehend love in their marriage, especially in the early stages. The language, no sex, no love, often comes up when a party is denied quality sex. Excuses in this aspect of married life must be cogent and tenable. Therefore, one of the good and effective ways to confirm the existence of love is sex.
“At a marriage ceremony, a woman advised young couples never to deny themselves good romance. She explained that romance is a legitimate exercise between husband and wife. Surprisingly, she openly confirmed that her husband can never access her for sex except she is happy. Again, she affirmed that no happiness, no sex. It is the responsibility of both love parties to ignite each other. Above all, she urged couples to be careful in handling sex denial in marriage.’
When trust is compromised
Trust should not be compromised; otherwise, the relationship between lovers becomes uncertain. There won’t be confidence again. Usually, both parties will always have confidence in each other when real trust is cherished and maintained. It is, therefore, the duty of the husband and wife to protect the trust. Two people from different backgrounds can only agree to live together when trust exists. On the contrary, the real meaning of love will diminish when one party cannot confide in the other. Importantly, an effective way to ensure trust is not compromised is to understand the causes of love frustration in a marriage and how to address them.
Unfaithfulness is a major threat to love. It is a cardinal marital offence. It is often perceived as one of the four devastating hatreds in marriage. And the affected party will lose confidence in the other. Once trust is injured, many things will start going wrong.
Selfishness
Selfishness is one character or idea that often frustrates love in a marriage. This occurs when you are self-centred in your dealings. In marriage, you don’t. operate in isolation. This idea, in most cases, introduces a temporary separation between a couple. It usually weakens the position of love and can rock a relationship. It is natural for a self-interested individual to think less about other people’s affairs. Certainly, a self-seeking individual won’t remember others.
Changes in Lifestyle
An individual’s way of life can sometimes be responsible for certain unwholesome experiences encountered in a relationship. An incident where one of the parties is gradually getting disappointed and discouraged in the entire marital arrangement. Sometimes, you will notice that your spouse’s lifestyle is changing from the original one. However, many things can be responsible for this. But the effect of this can be devastating on the relationship, thereby causing love frustration for either of the parties.
How to fix love frustration
Now that you know the practices that undermine love in a relationship, you need to steer clear of them. All these causes can be prevented or reduced when you learn to appreciate peace in marriage. Many relationships suffer under the pretence that they are in love. When husband and wife understand themselves in love, peace will naturally come to place. Maintaining a peaceful relationship is, essentially, the responsibility of both parties. Nevertheless, understanding the Causes of love frustration in a marriage and how to address them can lead to a peaceful relationship. To avoid those factors that underplay love, you need to embrace the following:
Be mindful of your spouse’s rights and privileges
Both parties in a relationship have rights and privileges. Your spouse’s rights need to be respected as a key player in a marital system. In general, when you treat your spouse with emphasis on his/her fundamental rights, you are indirectly gaining his/her respect. Of course, respect is reciprocal. Many people fail in this aspect. For instance, the assertion that a man is the head of the family makes some men disregard women’s rights. Couples that encourage equal rights are more likely to experience peace and a considerable level of progress in their relationship. At any rate, this does not erode the normal respect and honour attributable to a man as head of the family.
Embrace effective communication
A good dialogue between husband and wife usually brings about understanding. It encourages openness and strengthens spousal relationships. Essentially, effective communication is required for a healthy relationship. When you cultivate the habit of engaging your spouse in effective communication, you simply clear doubt. It is not a question of argument, but a constructive discussion. The result will be wonderful, in favour of your marriage.
Consider your spouse’s input in all marital decisions
Your spouse’s input is essential in all decisions that pertain to marital affairs. In marriage, you don’t have to make a unilateral decision in certain cases. The result is likely to be more robust when you share ideas. However, if the output of the joint decision is not favourable, the blame will be a collective one. Always involve your spouse in all matters concerning your relationship. Many of your decision works when you recognise and understand the root causes of love frustration in a marriage and how to address them. Through this, you can carefully prevent any act that could cause frustration or disappointment on the part of your spouse.
Display understanding and maturity in your marital dealings
In your marital dealings, show good understanding and maturity. Let your partner confirm your resilience in your response to issues. For instance, as a man, you don’t react to all complaints. Learn to ignore certain things in your marital affairs. Mistakes are part of being human; therefore, apology and forgiveness are effective reconciliation tools. In any situation characterised by mistake, let understanding and maturity be your guides.
Have intense empathy with your spouse
Sharing feelings with your spouse is essential in marriage. By this, you are reflecting the existence of love in your relationship. You must be concerned about your spouse’s interests and passions. If you choose to be carefree about your spouse’s feelings, you indirectly undermine love. And the effects can be devastating to the entire marital system.
Never toyed with trust
Trust is a delicate element in a marriage, and as such, it requires careful treatment. Having established trust, the next step is to manage it. The entire marital affair is dependent on trust. Therefore, once trust is assaulted, it has a direct consequence on love. It is better to manage and treasure trust to maintain your spouse’s confidence in you. Genuine trust is not a day job; it is built over time. Your spouse will continue to respect you if you speak out against any act capable of damaging trust. Indirectly, you will build confidence when you learn to trust your spouse.
Learn to Cherish Your Spouse
Until you learn to cherish and treasure your spouse, you won’t see the beauty of a good relationship. Most of the successful marriages are not without this concept. To cherish your partner means that you truly appreciate her presence in your life. This way, real love is established, and the relationship bond is stronger. Your partner will not perceive a reason to be disappointed. Therefore, not cherishing your spouse is one of the causes of love frustration in a marriage and knowing how to address it becomes necessary.
Lifestyle repositioning in marriage
To correct some of the wrongs caused by changes in lifestyle, you might need to effect Lifestyle repositioning in your marriage. All manner of unfriendly ways of life can now be purged out and adopt good and commendable ones. And soon, you will begin to notice changes in the general welfare of your relationship. Hence, lifestyle repositioning in a marriage is the way to go.
