In attempt to resolve marital dispute
Many people wonder why some marital disputes are difficult to resolve. In attempt to bring about solution, more problems are unconsciously created. And this, in most cases compounds the problem.Thereby the relationship between the couple is becoming like that of cat and dog. Everything is upside down and the marriage ,as a result, is under constant threat. The hatred has come and the spirit of love is in danger. Unfortunately the situation is becoming tougher by the day.
Unlike several other marital issues, this category is a peculiar one. In this category, disputes usually emanate exclusively, from within. Real information as per the causes of the dispute is usually concealed. Both parties will be grumbling, nagging and sick about the situation. And the whole thing is getting complicated. The opening created due to the misunderstanding is becoming wider.
Nature of disagreement
In all this, it can be noticed with surprise that they are not at war. The problem is just the nature of the disagreement. The aggrieved party is possible feeling cheated or betrayed by his/her supposed confidant. The necessary action in a way of reconciliation is not considered. Often this can be due to ego or insensitive to the issue at hand. Further carelessness or undue delay can make the case to degenerate. However it should be cleared here that the more the delay the delicate it becomes. It is advisable not to allow marital issues to tarry before action is taken. as this is why some marital disputes are difficult to resolve.
Notwithstanding, some issues can be insignificant to’ A ‘ while ‘B ‘ takes it extremely serious. It all depends on the individual perception.But what matter is whether the issue is a delicate one. What therefore constitute delicate issue is the consequential effect of actions and utterances.
Certain things are, in most cases, responsible for marital issues to be difficult to resolve. It all depends largely on the marital settings and how issues are perceived. Nevertheless, the following often responsible for the difficulty in resolving this type of issues:
Nature of dispute
The question as to what led to dispute will fall under this heading. My spouse insulted me, is quite different from you having unprotected kiss with a neighbour’s wife. Irrespective of the type of relationship between them, it demands explicit explanation to the aggrieved party. Otherwise, you owe your spouse an apology for her to be happy with you. So, this kind of issue can be difficult to resolve.
Extent of damage
If the resultant effect of the issue affects, badly, the feeling of your spouse, it simple means that it has caused damage. The extent of damage depends on the amount of injury sustained. All these have a cumulative effect on the resolving process. Where the injured party has, a weak forgiven spirit, then reconciliation may somewhat be difficult.
Hidden facts
Occasionally certain vital information that are needed for settlement of dispute are usually concealed by the parties. For reason best known to them, both husband and wife would not want to disclose reason for the dispute. Any third person could as well conclude that certain facts are yet to be disclosed, hence the matter is difficult to resolve
Couple not staying together
Where dispute occurs between husband and wife that are not staying together, reconciliation can be difficult. However, this depends on the nature of the dispute. If for reason of work location spouse are living separate, both have to develop trust. This is because wife does not know exactly what her spouse is doing in his station. He also has similar feeling. Except on trust, little misunderstanding can be difficult to resolve.
Spouse keeping too many secrets
Keeping secret is not bad. But any secret that is capable of posing threat to the existence of marriage is bad. If perchance it is discovered by his/her spouse it can lead straight to a dispute. This will instantly affect trust and his/her spouse will lost confidence thereof. Note that privacy is different from keeping malicious secret. Some secrets can cause terrible quarrel when later discovered. For instance where someone declined to to disclose to his/her spouse that he/she has a child before marriage. .
Extra marital affair
No doubt, it is not easy to reconcile issues pertaining to extra marital affair. Usually any issue affecting the feeling of an innocent party is always difficult to resolve. Somebody is strongly cheated due to the unfortunate act. Forgiven spirit is essential in a situation like this.
Notwithstanding the nature and damage caused, marital disputes got to be resolved in the interest peace and love.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
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