In marital life certain ideas, practices and statements are better avoided. When this is done the intimate relationship will be more cordial, The concept of coming to stay together in the name of marriage is a delicate institution. It requires maximum tolerance as both are coming from different background and orientation. Managing words and actions becomes necessary for both. The two of them have much work to do in the practice of forgiveness and overlooking some negligible offences. But because we are not perfect as an individual so our marital life. And for this single reason the following are things to avoid in marital life:
Avoid discussion about past or former lover
Discussion concerning past or former lover should be discouraged. It usually brings about hatred between husband and wife. This can easily lead to bitterness in the mind of an innocent or faithful partner. Particularly, a spouse who probably had no experience about past lover. Unfortunately he/she may not tell his/her spouse that he is always unhappy about such story. Therefore this kind of story should be not established.
Stop visiting or placing calls on former lover
Avoid visiting or calling your old or past lover. It could create suspicion in the mind of your spouse. Extreme care is required in any situation where past lovers are still visiting themselves or placing calls. Notwithstanding the deep affection that existed between them in the past. Normally, once marriage life is successfully established with another person, the old relationship should terminates abruptly. Such relationship should remain with the past. Any unceremonious closeness will create suspicion, and when this degenerate it leads straight to serious dispute. You may at the end needs efficient involvement of a third party.
Do not compare your spouse with others
Do not compare your spouse with others, so that he/she is not forced to copy wrongly. Note that people with different background, training and exposure,would not look alike. And as such your spouse has his own style. learn to appreciate your own, What is appropriate is to advise, on how you want your spouse to appear. Comparing your spouse with another may be construed to mean that you prefer the other person. Avoid unnecessary comparison. Remember that the other person is somebody’s spouse. Encourage your spouse to improve in any area you think he/she is lacking.
Avoid offensive language
Avoid offensive language that are capable of aggravating annoyance.Certain words or expressions that are acidic in nature, often lead to hatred. If love is allowed to get rooted in between couple, the use of unfriendly language would not emerge. Usually words and expression of encouragement is more preferable at any capacity in a good matrimonial setting. Unguided words or offensive utterances are strongly considered among things to avoid in marital life.
Do not despise your spouse cooking
Do not appreciate another person’s cooking more than your spouse own. it easily creates hatred in the mind of your spouse. Advise and, possible encourage your spouse to improve in that direction. Efforts of your spouse in ensuring that you are satisfied and comfortable is disregarded, the moment you prefer another person’s meal. In this case the affected spouse is not encouraged to improve. Rather he/she is not appreciated for the efforts.
Avoid disgracing your spouse
Do not correct your spouse in the open, particularly in the present of other people. Indirectly you are debasing him/her in the public. Correcting your spouse in the open does not reflect respect. Doing this in private is more preferable. However, where it really becomes necessary to do this then some degree of passive expressions is required. Mind your choice of words and avoid commanding tone.
Do not keep marital information from your spouse
Do not hide from your spouse, critical information that are essential to the existence of your marriage. It is a clear indication that one is not reliable. Information that matters should be released at the right time so that appropriate steps can be taken. Most a time information about one is hidden, when in actual fact it suppose to be made available to hi/her spouse for consideration on time.
Avoid, frequent, admiring your neighbor spouse. This can reduce love and could also lead to permanent hatred. To admire is not out of place, but why should you admire your neighbor’ spouse. Admiration becomes negative when your spouse begins to read meaning to your action. In this case you need to be careful so that it does not create hatred.
Do not demoralize your spouse
Do not despise the appearance of your spouse. This could make him/her feels inferior. The ideal step is to encourage your spouse to appear more better. Do not reduce your spouse by openly condemning his/her appearance. Encourage your spouse on how you want him to appear.
Do not condemn your spouse effort to satisfy you
Do not deny your spouse a quality performance on bed. Determine and discourse what you want. Failure in this aspect goes a long way in affecting Love. It is a major way to express a deep affection. Mostly, at the early stage of marital life this necessarily important. The language at the instance of sex is unique and far from other components of love. It is a language between lovers.
Do not discourse marital issues with a third party
On no account should you discourse your spouse with another person. Doing this shows that you have carelessly disclosed secret. Ideally certain secret are meant to remain between a couple. At the instance of marriage your wife is your confidant. It does happen, but it is among things to avoid in marital life. All things been equal third party should not be accommodated.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
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