One sure way to maintain peace and harmony between couples is to have a better understanding of themselves. And to do this, one has to carry out a profound study of his spouse’s ideology and style. But this cannot be achieved within a short time. Of course, it is a business that requires interest, patience, and quality time. Because of the finding nature of the study, it becomes a continuous exercise. Whatever method you adopt, the logical conclusion is to be able to predict your spouse. Prediction, in this case, may not cover all instances, but at least common issues. It is therefore essential to study your spouse’s character, in order to have good predictions about him/her on common marital issues.
Study your spouse’s character
While the study is ongoing, you will be opened to more of his/her character, reasoning style, reaction to issues, and ability to control himself under pressure. Practically, characters will be unfolding gradually and not at once. The ability to follow the sequence and to take notes as appropriate is material. Certainly, different situations will attract different reactions. So, it is not a straight sawing idea. Some of his reactions may not be displayed at home. For instance,” a woman disclosed that her spouse’s reaction is usually horrible each time his car is tampered with. Notwithstanding whether it is by mistake or otherwise. His countenance changes and becomes wild. His car is his second wife, she stressed“.
Many times, some people get overwhelmed with minor issues. In some other cases, situations or circumstances determine reactions. Transfer of aggression is the order of the day for some homes. Therefore, it is necessary to study the character of our spouses’ in order to know the causes. And thereafter work out the necessary antidote.
Analyze your spouse’s characters
An essential part of the study is the analysis. This involves sorting and grouping favourable reactions and the onerous ones. Analyze each event and the kind of reaction that follows. In effect, proper analysis can be ascertained with emphasis on the causes and reactions. You will necessarily need to consider the nature of offense(s) that attract his annoyance. Take note of his/her temperament, to determine its degree. Be attracted to those things that make him/her happy. Observe with maximum interest when he shows appreciation. At the same time, it can be confirmed as to whether he/she is a cool-headed fellow or not. Of a fact, studying your spouse’s character on common marital issues is important.
Determine what triggers your spouse’s annoyance
From the analysis, it would be easier to arrive at those things that trigger your spouse’s annoyance. Some people are sensitive to words. Therefore any word or utterances they are not comfortable with can attract outright reactions. Some people vehemently react to actions they consider not favourable. For instance, most men will not sacrifice their respect, particularly from their wives. Also, most women detest reporting matrimonial issues to a third party for any reason. Whichever one is yours, your effort to manage situations makes you a mature and clever spouse.
Creation of Antidote to what causes your spouse’s annoyance
Having known and recognized those acts, words, and expressions that are capable of igniting your spouse’s annoyance. The next important step is to fabricate or fashion out refine countermeasures in proportion to the annoyance. The essence is to restrain or reduce its impact.
To some extent, this aspect depends critically on the reason for the annoyance in the first instance. And the circumstances surrounding its occurrence. Therefore your countermeasure must consider the situation and location of events. For example, some reactions are not proper outside the matrimonial home. And ignoring is not appropriate in all cases. Certain things should not be ignored, to avoid degeneration. Overt action is not out of place when it becomes necessary.. In my calling, I have listened to a woman who explained that her spouse was never a gentle person. He never respected her as a wife. But she started having her respect, the day she confronted him headlong on issues that bother on respect. No involvement of any third party.
Take appropriate action
Avoid those things that can easily arouse his/her temper before snowballing into annoyance. Watch your spouse’s countenance to figure out his/her mood. Work on the right time to meet him/her to talk out issues of concern.
Remember to avoid tit for tat as a countermeasure. It simply means retaliation. It does not in any way depict maturity and a forgiving spirit. Be efficient, and moderate your approach with sincerity of purpose.
At any rate contingent approach matters. Give it what it takes. Different situations call for different approaches. Don’t forget, our quest is peace and harmony in a marital setting. To study your spouse’s character is much more relevant in an effort to secure your marriage.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
2 comments
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