As a matter of fact, in a marital setting, business taking place behind closed doors is exclusively for lovers. And the interest is practically common to both. It takes a sincere agreement to play the game. Unfortunately, it is not possible where the consent of one runs against the other party. Genuine reconciliation is feasible, once one agrees to be engaged by the other. Sex is all about privacy, it’s not for an intruder, nor for the enemy. In any capacity, sex – as machinery for settling marital disputes is organically effective with a long-lasting effect
Crisis in marriage
Once unnecessary space is created between husband and wife, a crisis is sure in a marital setting. It indicates that love is tampered with. And many things will begin to go wrong. The affected or aggrieved party is filled up with excuses and complaints. The usual business behind the closed door is unduly affected. For sure, one of the parties suffers more, depending on the nature of the problem. But the fact remains that something is wrong.
In the process, the aggrieved party may decide to reflect in his/her character that he/she is not happy. For instance, certain rights and privileges may be denied. And because it is about lovers, the pains involved can be very sharp. All in an effort to express dissatisfaction. For example, I have witnessed a situation where a man decided to set aside the food prepared by his wife. His reason was that he wanted her to know that he was not happy with her. Again, there are circumstances where wives, in particular, bluntly denied their spouses the right to sex. Obviously, this can be very painful. In marriage, people use various means to claim rights.
A gap between husband and wife
In any case, where husband and wife fall apart, the center will not hold. Everyone keeps to his/herself. Unless an appropriate step is taken, this may last for some time. Regrettably, both may be ignorant of the next line of action. However, taking the wrong step can worsen the situation. It can widen the gap the more. And the worse is that the marital train could go off course.
Many a time, the application of some methods of reconciliation may not be effective. In marriage, any issue that brings about a gap between husband and wife can lead to a permanent separation. So, to settle such goes beyond a mere presentation of gift. “Efficient medication for some skin problems often goes beyond external treatment”. Some diseases germinate from the inside. You will agree with me that a good relationship will not, suddenly, turn sour without reason.
Consequently, an unnecessary crack in the marital wall can easily snowball to divorce. It is expected that couples should be proactive to mend any unwanted crisis in their marriage before it gets worsen.
Appropriate steps for sex- a machinery for settling marital disputes
Provided it is clearly established that something is wrong, the solution is not far again. All it requires, now, is to take the appropriate steps as highlighted below:
Secure your spouse’s attention in the right place and time
( Ensure it is a place where time and chance permit you exclusive privacy ).
Initiate a discussion with major emphasis on the subject
( No off-track discussion and, watch your choice of words )
Be patient
( Usually, at this stage your spouse may open up with sincere disclosure of how you wrong him/her. Those things that caused the problem are likely to be revealed. If you are patient enough more revelations will be made to your surprise )
Offer necessary apology
( Particularly if you are at fault, tender a sincere apology. Give him/her hope with a redeemable promise that gladdens heart )
Finally, carefully move closer to your spouse and initiate the needful
( Your spouse will not deny your final step, because after revelation it is actualization )
Efficacy of sex in settling marital differences
At any rate, marital reconciliation via sex remains the most efficient. This is so because one cannot secure his/her spouse’s love in the face of dispute. Hence sex – as a machinery for settling marital disputes is highly efficacious among other methods. Using sex to resolve discords gives rise to a new dawn, where one sees the need to cherish her spouse the more. When good arrangement is made for reconciliation through sex, the result is usually superb.
Importantly, the method does not in any way encourage the involvement of a third party. A bold step is required to be taken by one of the parties. And at the end, issues are resolved and the conclusion is logical. “For instance, at a wedding ceremony in my locality, It is a renowned practice to offer a word of advice to the new couple. An old widow in her words made it clear that what befit lovers is to resolve marital issues behind a closed door. She explained that her late husband often use this method. In the process, he called me by my local name and remind me of how we started our love”. With soft and romantic hands he brings me closer and the bitterness of the past is forgotten.
Above all, never delay or foot drag to say I am sorry where it becomes necessary. In all sincerity, the language – I am sorry goes a long way in marital reconciliation. It has a direct impact on the aggrieved party.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
