A rift often occurs when there is a serious disagreement between a couple. The kind of disagreement that leads to hatred and distrust. In the extreme case, a permanent separation can occur. Particularly if the cause is a threat to Trust. And once Trust is affected, the whole system collapses. Unless effective and timely efforts are made in the direction of a rift, resolving the rift between a couple can be difficult.
Tracing the root cause of a rift
Generally, most of the rifts or altercations in marital life are internally generated. Notwithstanding the fact that many things can lead to a rift, the root cause can be traced to either of the couple. This becomes easier when, at least, one of the couple opens up. Much easier if the two are willing and readily disposed to resolve a dispute. The nature and causes will, necessarily, determine the mode of resolution. Notwithstanding the extent, if resolving issues is genuinely from the heart, it requires little or no stress. Unlike where one of the parties builds up resistance. It usually occurs in any situation where the couple defiantly opposes steps in the direction of resolution. With this act, resolving the rift between a couple can be difficult even with a third party.
However, it is a different ball game if the issue is generated from outside. Of course, this is an externally generated disagreement. In this case, a great deal of finding is necessary. However, if there is a trait of maturity and understanding between the couple, resolving would not be difficult. The fact remains that, once the cause is discovered other things will take shape.
Who is responsible for the rift
In a most incident that involves two parties, it takes common sense to determine whose fault. For the pendulum can either swing to the right or left. Obviously one of them is responsible for the act. But because it is an internally generated issue, it is within the purview of the couple. They themselves can trace where the problem is located within the setting. And for this singular reason, a question as to whose fault can be answered. At any rate, either of the two does ask this question. Not minding who truly is at fault.
In the course of providing a solution to a rift between a couple. I noticed that non was willing to accept fault between the two parties. Both were claiming right. But unfortunately, the two were responsible for the rift. They lack understanding. Though it is not too good to apportion blame, an individual can recognize his/her fault. Am sorry is a catalyst to heal a wound.
Fixing a rift with maturity and understanding
Personally, I advise couples to resolve marital differences without a third party. But this is best practised when a couple has a good understanding and can key into the concept. You need to develop trust, a forgiving spirit, maturity and a deep understanding of marital life. Marriage life is predicated on love, understanding and maturity among others. These are the instruments you need, to be able to handle marital conflict without a third party. Otherwise, it requires the involvement of outsiders with the skill to proffer solutions. Anyone between the two can show and display maturity in efforts to resolve issues. However, with maturity, you can call your partner to order early enough. Be mindful of your choice of words when doing this. Avoid unnecessary altercation that creates a disturbance in the neighbourhood.
Sacrifice to resolve a rift
Resolving rift between a couple sometimes required sacrifice. Many people don’t see the reason for it. But it is a shortcut and an effective way to solution. When a serious misunderstanding arises, sometime apportioning blame doesn’t help. What is needed is your ability to ignore. To forgive. To berry pride, To be ready and willing to forgo and To forgive. Take a bold step towards reconciliation. Certainly taking a good step in efforts to manage and maintain marriage is worth doing well. Your ability to call it off on time is what makes you a mature person. By this, you have successfully overcome the need for a third party. Nevertheless, what is important is your ability to be proactive in resolving marital issues.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
