Have you ever considered the reasons why some couples could not stop nagging? It mostly happens when one of the parties always looks for mistakes. They use this as a yardstick to nag. Such a couple may not experience total fulfilment for a long while. In effect, one or both parties may be experiencing dissatisfaction in love. Of course, incessant complaints from one party are a corollary to dissatisfaction, possibly emanating from her spouse. In handling marital nagging, certain critical steps become necessary with emphasis on the causes and the need to prevent re-occurrence.
Nagging as an expression of dissatisfaction
Nagging is natural. It is an expression of dissatisfaction by a concerned individual. Usually, a chronic nagging fellow may not willingly disclose the reason(s). In the case of a couple, a man whose wife nags is likely to suffer depression. Unfortunately, he may not know the reason for it, in the first place. Conversely, he may have an idea of the reason for the nagging, but the solution is not readily available. So the challenge would be so psychological.
In a marital setting, many reasons are normally responsible for nagging. However, the nature and degree vary depending on the understanding, discipline, and maturity of the couple. And this is where communication in marriage comes to play. Effective communication between husband and wife is material to their healthy marital life. Except you make your thought known and clear to your spouse, communication is not in place. No marriage is without challenges, It is our responsibility to handle marital challenges.
Some notable reasons for marital nagging
Agitation – Disappointment arises because of the inability to meet expectations. Some of which, the wife will have to conceal. And because she is not speaking out, the next thing is to nag.
Poor performance – Either of the two can nag against poor performance in bed. Especially where the displeased party is timid. He/She may find it somewhat challenging to explain to his/her partner about poor performance. Some consider it immoral to discuss such issues, hence they result in nagging.
Anger – Nagging arises as a result of a strong feeling of dissatisfaction.
Where a party is under pressure – Pressure can sometimes lead straight to nagging. Particularly if there is no relief to reduce the workload.
A woman explained that her husband nags, usually if he is under pressure. According to her, the man was working on his computer one day when suddenly the system packed up. Efforts to fix it were not successful. And for this reason, he kept nagging throughout that day.
Failed promises – Nagging can always be a consequential effect of failed promises. The affected spouse, who suffers pain due to failed promises could express his/her displeasure through nagging. To make a promise is good, but to redeem it is important.
Where a spouse persistently fails in His/Her responsibilities – It is very possible to fail in one’s responsibilities, but how often. A person becomes irresponsible when he/she is no longer performing to expectation. And because important things are lacking, the spouse will nag. In the course of counselling, a woman kept complaining about her husband. Sadly she wouldn’t want to reveal the real reason for her complaint. After much pressure, she disclosed that her husband persistently failed in the other room.
Steps in handling marital nagging.
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–1- Study your spouse and understand his/her character and style.
-2- Be sensitive and be
proactive to marital issues
-3- Listen to the complaints of your spouse.
-4- Learn to communicate with your spouse.
–5- Learn to resolve marital issues without a third party.
-6- Discover the appropriate time and place to meet your spouse for critical marital discussion.
–7- Try to be responsible and do the needful.
proactive to marital issues
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
2 comments
Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!