To be compatible in love or in marriage is more rewarding and appreciative. Both parties will have a course to exhibit maturity and understanding in their marital dealings. With compatibility, the marriage is usually characterized by peace and love among other qualities. Differences are often treated with utmost sincerity and dispatch. And as such, issues are never allowed to linger for too long without a solution. They scarcely accommodate unnecessary interference, especially from a third party. In a way, creating compatibility in a marital life provides adequate understanding in all marital dealings.
Basically, the concept of compatibility encourages understanding and acceptability in marital relationships. It, therefore, means that husband and wife should display maximum understanding. Where Paul will see a reason not to, unnecessarily, argue with his wife. Not that the relationship is without disagreement, but issues are treated with maturity. This is possible because of the existence of compatibility. Then, compatibility in marriage is to accept each other lifestyle, cooperate at every stage, and show understanding. By this, both will be speaking the same language. And possibly do the same thing in the same way.
Compatibility not natural
In most cases, couples are not necessarily compatible ab- initio. However, it is possible in a situation where one of the parties is gentle and full of understanding. He/she has the disposition to absorb, ignore and adjust accordingly. But such is not without challenges. Especially where one of the lovers is unnecessarily stubborn or insatiable. Hardly you can satisfy an individual with such character. Of course, because both are coming from different backgrounds, they are not likely to be compatible initially. That is to say, compatibility is not natural in most cases. It has to be tailored towards suitability.
Creating an atmosphere for marital compatibility
Normally, ideas or qualities necessary for ideal marital compatibility may not be readily available naturally. But the same can be acquired as time goes by. Lovers sometimes may not be compatible in many areas. Notwithstanding, this can be addressed with certain principles. If well applied, both parties will soon be compatible. The required understanding, wisdom, and maturity will later subsist between husband and wife. In any case, the following ideas and qualities can be applied to create and strengthen compatibility in marital life.
Study your spouse
For one to have a deep and better understanding of his/her spouse, a great deal of study is required. Knowing his style and reaction to issues is important. By the time you are through, predicting him on every step will be much easier. And because you are able to arm yourself with this quality, unnecessary complaints can be avoided. Many potential problems can be tackled early enough. Hence, studying one’s spouse enhances compatibility in marital life.
Understand your spouse’s dos and don’ts
Having an idea of your spouse’s preference in taste and dislike offers you a chance to predict him/her. Not only in a closet, but almost in all spheres. And because you are prefixed to her ideology, at every point in time you can read her mind. This can easily prevent violations of interest and rights. Consequently, a spousal relationship is strengthened.
Have a prior discussion before taking a decision
It is always advisable to table critical issues for discussion, before a decision. Some decisions don’t really need serious or prior discussion. Such requires understanding and experience. You already know what is good for your family. Making a unilateral decision on marital issues can sometimes cause problems. So, when a decision is predicated on the interest of another person, his/her input is relevant.
Avoid unnecessary argument
An unnecessary argument can be prevented when you study and understand your spouse. When you act according to agreement and plans. Ask and give replies to questions at the appropriate time and place. Never allow a third party into your marital affair. Unless where it becomes the only option. Gradually, unnecessary arguments will vanish when compatibility in marriage, is fully established. However, this does not erode a constructive argument that leads to peace and progress in a marriage.
Act according to the agreement
Parties to a previous discussion will have to operate within the contest. You will need to carry out marital action as earlier agreed. Avoid going contrary to what was earlier agreed upon. When you act in accordance with the discussion and subsequent decision, you simply display discipline. And the expected result is sure. Your spouse already knows what the result will look like.
Avoid irrelevant assumption
The assumption is like a game of chance. It usually amounts to guessing. It is better avoided in a marital setting. For it can lead straight to a problem if you guess wrongly. Cultivate the habit of asking questions when you are in doubt. Approach your spouse for clarification on any obscurity. Face-to-face can be the right way to go in some situations.
Apologize when you wrong your spouse
There is no perfect situation in marriage. No matter the relationship, both are bound to have misunderstandings. An effort to bring issues under control is important. Therefore, apologizing when you wrong your spouse is a good way to go. The language ‘I am sorry in’ marriage is a potential re-conciliator. Basically, an apology quenches annoyance faster.
Intensify efforts to please your spouse
Though, it is not easy to satisfy some people. One can only do his/her best. When you love your spouse eloquently, you will be passionate about his/her welfare. Unfortunately, some people never appreciate their spouses’ efforts in this direction. What is important is a passion to do the needful. ‘A young woman ( Agnes ) was bitter about her husband’s character. According to her, her efforts to please him were in futility. But she loves him. She never tired in her interest to please her spouse. But to her surprise, one day he returned from the office with a gift. He explained the reason for the gift. He was at a friend’s house and observed his wife talking to him rudely. Not minding the visitors’ presence.
My name is Muyideen Elemoro. I am a Nigerian from Ibeju -Lekki Local government in Lagos State. I reside in Abuja, Nigeria.
I am a retired Civil Servant. Presently, I am a marketer and Blogger.
Essentially I write on marital and other related issues. I engage, as a part-time, in Marriage seminar and other related issues.
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